welcome home

Out of the dreariness,

Into its cheeriness,

Come we in weariness,

Home.

(photo by Shanan Durda)

Surprisingly enough there are no pictures of the Mesa Temple in the rain which it was raining this morning. The quote above is how I felt as I walked through the front door of the Temple at 6am.

I did initiatories, then an endowment session. I was filled with the spirit as I performed initiatories – I usually forget the names as soon I’m finished, but the last name was someone special. I’ve never met her before nor had I ever seen her name or knew how to say it. I pronounced it how I thought it should be and the sweet Temple worker (she’s there every Saturday I’ve been – love her!) said, “We’ll go with how you said it – you’re the inspired one.”

Oh. I am? I am. Yes, yes I am. I’m doing this for her – on her behalf. Neeltje, Kater born in the 1800’s in Netherlands. I could feel her there and I soaked in every word of the ceremony. A young mother who struggled to find joy in her posterity. A young mother just like me. Centuries apart having the same challenges. Now rejoicing at the chance to be an eternal family. I hope someday to find her in heaven.

 

I hurried and changed to make it to the 7 o’clock endowment session only to have to wait. I thought 30 minutes was going to feel like an eternity as I sat there with one other sister in the waiting room. I closed my eyes for a few minutes and listened to the pre-lude music, then picked up the Bible and just opened it to whatever page it opened to. It was Matthew as the Savior preached about not judging others when we ourselves have faults, calming the raging sea, the foolish man/wise man and before I knew it, 30 minutes was up. Now I probably slept through most of the session, but I think I dozed during different parts than before…..sad, but it’s so peaceful and quiet. Noone jumping on me, yelling for me or wanting my attention. I hope it all soaks in by osmosis, we’ll see.

Again I was filled with the spirit and very emotional as I walked into the Celestial room – that quick twinge of panic started as I realized I didn’t know a single person in there, noone was waiting for me. I quickly pushed the thought aside and walked in confidently and was welcomed home. I belonged there. I longed to be there. Oh how I missed my home. Sure I didn’t know anyone, but they were visitors too. Visiting our Heavenly parents, my Savior and my family on the other side. And Neeltje, Kater – I can’t wait for her to be there too. I wanted to go back and get her name to finish the work for her.

 As I headed back to the dressing room to leave the Temple, I walked past a new bride and her husband. I wondered if she knew what her future held for her. I remembered that day, surrounded by loved ones, waiting to be sealed to my eternal companion and now I was at the Temple by myself with my husband and 4 kids at home. Not exactly what I was envisioning the day I got married. In the last 10 years, we’ve been through a lot. We’ve had first hand experience and some side-line experience. Friends & family suffer loss of a child, not have their own children, adoption, death of parents, missions, weddings – civil and Temple, loss of employment, moving, new callings in Church. What was she going to endure, would she find joy? I wanted to impart some piece of wisdom to her, but all I could do was smile as I walked by remembering my special day and grateful I didn’t know what was to come. Grateful what has come and grateful for the experiences and blessings to come in the next 10 years. I love to see the Temple, I love going inside. I feel my Heavenly Father and my Savior as they open their arms and tell me:

Welcome home.