worries, stress, and prayers.............answers

Yesterday I was a lot worried for my oldest daughter. She's 9 - she's sweet, naive, innocent, and susceptible to bouts of rage and pouting. In her little world all she wants is to be accepted - to have a friends and to hopefully survive the 4th grade with as few paper cuts as possible and still have time to play. 

We signed her up for Girls on the Run - a program that helps girls have a positive body image and attitude towards exercise. I wasn't sure what my expectation was for her. I thought it was to make friends because it seemed to me she didn't have anyone close to be her friend. Say what you like - you want a lot of friends or only a select few good friends, we all need that one friend we can count on to be there for us. I've had several of those over the years since kindergarten or nursery probably. Those friends who pull you out of your comfort zone, push you to be better, and make you want to be a better person. There are also those friends who used to fit that profile, but for whatever reasons have chosen a different path and no longer can you be the kind of friends who stick together through thick and thin. I don't have any of those that I can think of, but I know Jeff does. Hard to let go of 'friends' when they bring you down. And of course the friends/family you haven't seen in years and you pick up as if you just saw each other yesterday - those fit the first mold. 

So this program - Lea was having a good time, she didn't seem to run with anyone, but she ran and was enjoying the exercise. She chose this program over the 4th grade trip to the Grand Canyon - wise choice, glad she made it. (we merely informed her of the details of each program, then she chose GOTR). Last night Jeff was talking about how she mainly stayed by him at the 5k they ran last week for the finale of GOTR. She talked to some girls, but they weren't genuinely interested (in his opinion) to chat it up with her. He was obviously defensive of her as he felt some of the girls weren't as nice as they could be to his daughter.

I spent some time with her last night doing homework while the rest of the kids were asleep - normally I'd be bugged she hadn't finished yet, but we spend some good one-on-one time discussing the great French and English Explorers. :) I just really can't believe she's 9 - almost 10. 10. When did that happen? I can't even remember when she was a toddler like Mo. She's just always been older, more grown up.

 

How did we get from here in '03

 to spending her first birthday back in the hospital, a baby with barely any hair

to this cute little girl with the curly hair and lots of it - I loved fixing her hair in all different styles - she was a willing participant most of the time.

 to this: a 4th grader!!

 okay back to my original quest for peace of mind that she is as truly happy as she seems in the photos.

I came home from playing Thursday night volleyball and went in to check on her - sound asleep, not a care in the world while I felt quite literally weighed down for her. I wanted to go back in time to when she was an infant and rock her to sleep at night - is this what it's really like to be a parent? You never stop worrying? Ever? How stressful and suddenly I felt more responsible for her future than I had ever before.

I retreated to my room and knelt down by my bed. And in all honesty, this does not happen very often - at all. I have this irrational fear something will get me, bug, cockroach or otherwise - under the bed scares me (that's neither here nor there - just a really random weird fact about myself at age 34.) whew - feels good to get that out there. ;) Anyway, I unleashed my worries in prayer. Should we move, where? What will be best for them? Should we switch schools for her? What about the other kids? Even down to my concern that she might be teased about her shoes (they smell really bad - well used, but still smell when not on her feet). I got up at the prompting in the middle of my prayer to go get my 'old' shoes out of the garage for her - size 8.5.....they couldn't possibly fit her, but I'd at least try. Before the shoe part, I was overwhelmed with the assurance of yes it's time to move - for Lea.Tears freely flowing, I knew this was the right answer. Not that our ward or area is not working for her - she has friends - lots of girls her age actually, so it's hard to say yes let's move her out of this for her. Seems contradictory. But it's right. It's time, still makes me teary and probably will until we are settled in a new place. So whether this is a test of our obedience to follow and maybe end up not moving at all, but will we obey? Or we end up moving down the street or across town, whatever it is, we are going to obey and follow the Lord's will for our family. 

I did my scripture reading (also not something I do very regularly - I'm working on it, just not very good at). I was reading about Abinadi and well, I'm not ready to give my life in sacrifice the way Abinadi did, I am willing to change my comfort zone for her and for us - to move on, to improve and become friends with other people I can add to that list of friends who make my life better.

If you've made it this far in the post - good job!! :) You've stuck in there and are now ready for the ANSWER portion of this blog post. I emailed a friend who works at the school and happens to be our Primary President. I just wanted to know what she observes at the school - this was her response:

First let me say she seems happy at recess and she has a sweet disposition that any kid would want to be her friend. I think Lea is friends with everyone but stays away from the drama queens. We have a few and I never see her with them. Fourth grade actually all the grades I see (4-8) have little cliques. Lea lately has been having recess with a little boy that I think is Asian and he wears glasses. They just walk around the field and talk. But they don't eat together just interested in the same things :)

(insert Jeff asking if he needs to have a 'talk' with this boy......) haha

I volunteered today to help the 1st grade team with copying and then was going to stick around to see Lea at recess. They were in the cafeteria, I walked in to see if I could find her in the mass of children in matching uniforms. One of the girls from GOTR saw me and waved me down pointing to Lea who when I saw her, her face was beet red. :) I met the Asian boy mentioned above - his name is Jeremy. And Luz. Luz has been Lea's friend since kinder and her mom comes to school every day - although I didn't put Luz with this mom I see ALL the time. Her dad would run with her at every practice for GOTR and talked a little with Jeff the other night at the party for GOTR. As I walked away, Luz's mom touched my arm and told me, "Lea is such a sweet friend to Luz. She's always so nice to her.' (answer received. got it. she has a friends, she's a good friend, she's loved and taken care of while out of my care).

Willow - the girl who waved me to Lea, asked if Kim and I were sisters (yes, twins..... ;) ) okay not really, but close enough. :) She then said Lea and I could be twins. Triplets? Lea would totally add some girl to the Baker home. :)

Love you LEA!!

down

Feeling a little down and out today - down in the dumps more like it. A stomach bug has slowly been circulating our family and I finally have it. wahoo. I will say there is one down side to not changing diapers for kids anymore - that was usually a good indication of if they were getting sick or not - now I don't know until they throw up on me or somewhere else. :) Well I still have one in diapers and he did throw up on me - although I knew that was coming eventually - he doesn't handle being sick very well, poor little Mo.

Working on the Paris pictures for another post. Loved the food there and I loved not having to worry about 'what's for dinner' and then making it. ;)

The planning stage

I still can't believe we even went to Paris - wow....when Alyssa (college roommate) made her relationship facebook official and then announced the engagament......I was so hoping to go whereever it was, Washington  DC, never did I expect to go to London, but I was hoping. :) I suggested it to Jeff and he agreed it would be a trip of a lifetime. really!? A lot of back and forth, work schedule, babysitters needed, Jeff interviewing for a new job, then starting said new job, could we leave, should we leave, why not leave?!

I got my passport, then we finally made the purchase of tickets. We had to go now.

I spent a lot of time researching and researching, reading, looking at maps, etc. I felt I had already been to Paris before we got there. I expected that cheesy accordion music to start playing as we wondered around, romantic moonlight walks by the Eiffel Tower - too many movies for me. Instead we experienced Paris in real life, not movie life. Walking down fast moving streets of mini coops, hybrids, motorcycles, bicycles and the occasional moving truck that would block an entire street - a street mind you that was barely big enough to park on, yet both sides of the streets and the occasional sidewalk was jam packed with cars, motorcycles and bicycles. Crazy busy. Jeff led the way as I was totally turned around the whole time. 

So let's back up a little to before we left. My parents came to watch our kids, I put together a daily schedule, contact information and prayed noone would get injured as we were between insurances.....

we purchased plug adapters for our electronics

gathered warm clothing

bought money belts to keep our extra money and passports safe

 Extra battery for the camera

 learned how to use my iphone on just wi-fi, signed up for instagram (you know, the important things to do) haha! 

Found hotels (so glad we did that before we arrived)

train tickets

Eiffel Tower passes to get to the top!

made our own travel guide books from Rick Steves guide books for Paris and England

Learned how to say hello, thank you in French - that's all I learned, and it was plenty. :)

Borrowed my mom's suitcase when she came

packed an extra bag for souvenirs to bring home

repacked, added, took stuff out, took more out

borrowed boots from Suzette, coats from Jackie
gathered advice on what to see, where to do and what to eat

packed clothing that didn't mind being wrinkled

bought a backpack to carry on

headphones for the plane

blanket, travel pillow

whew, I think we're finally ready to go.

Ride to the airport - check

tickets - check

passports - check

snacks - check

stressed - check and double check

said good-bye to the little ones - check and hurry get in the car

hug my mom

thankfully they were mostly asleep to realize the full situation of us leaving the country

get to the airport, pull out one last item and leave it behind

big hug for my dad

off we go.....

 to Philly

 via US Airways

To Paris!!!

Snowstorms to Sunshine

 The day before was a dark, gloomy, rainy, snowstorm and then it looks like this the next day. A beautiful day for Spring Training - playing hookie from school and work. :)

A trip to In n Out, where our other door on the van wouldn't close, many angry words said that only Steven was privy too, but it turned out alright - we fed the beasts and enjoyed the rest of the day.

 the cheap seats on the berm - free range for the kids to run around and ignore the game.

 Finding any shade they can to play the nexus, kindles and dsi.

 each enjoying the sun in their own little way.

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEVEN!! At the last minute (he was flying out to go home and needed to be at the airport in 1 hour.....), Jeff ran to the store - bought cake mix and came home to make this lovely cupcake?. It was still warm, so the chocolate melted and the candles just made it fall apart. But it looks good, maybe.

 a closer look to see all the yummy goodness - those are andes mints, not peanuts.

 seriously, I love these 2 - comedians together and the world's most intense wrestling matches where you're not sure if one of them will be thrown through the wall or end up in the hospital.

headache

Taking the kids to school today and Abbey was very quiet - I thought she was upset with me because she missed breakfast and had to get in the car. The whole time she's leaning towards the window so I can't see her in the rear view mirror.

We drop the kids off, go home for something we forgot, and head back to the church to play volleyball with our friends. I bring out something for her to eat for breakfast and it's the first time I've seen her or heard her since leaving to take the kids to school. She moves up from the back of the van to get her food and looks very tired and on the brink of tears. Having spent 2 of the last 4 nights up with a puking toddler, I was not looking forward to what this little face was trying to tell me.

'Abbey, are you okay?' (tears very close to falling)

head shakes no as she rubs her temple

'What happened? Did you hurt your head?'

head shakes no again. 

'Then what happened? Are you okay?'

'Lucas. Lucas was talking too much and gave me a headache.'

'Ohhhhhh, I'm sorry, why don't you go lay down on the back seat and rest.' (funny and sad all at the same time!!! hahahaha!!)

Jeff survived the GREAT snowstorm of 2013

Okay, go ahead, laugh it up. Get it out of your system...................

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done yet? No?
Well there will be time for more laughing after the pictures. :)

Jeff has lived to tell the tale of the Great Phoenix Snowstorm of 2013.

We knew the weather in Laveen was down-right frigid dark and gloomy. I called Jeff to see if he was coming home from Scottsdale - to which he said, it's snowing and the freeway is SLOW. Phoenicians freak out when it rains (and by rain I mean you can count the rain drops on your windshield and then it's finished), can you imagine what happened when it SNOWED????? It was I'm sure chaos and most were certain Hell was freezing over. Okay I exaggerate (only a little though).

This is outside Jeff's office at the 101 freeway and Indian School.

 Almost doesn't even look like Phoenix except for the large Saguaro cacti off to the left. I'd say that's a pretty impressive snow storm for a place that NEVER sees snow.

 This looks closer to home since there are farm lands and no snow.

Okay you can let out all the sarcasm you've been holding in at our 'snow storm'. :) Jeff was nice enough to bring some of it home for the kids since we all thought he was full of it that it was snowing.